Selma Blair Recalls Being Sexually Assaulted By High School Administrator: ‘He Broke Me’

Selma Blair is a sexual assault survivor.

In his new memoirs naughty babythe actress shares for the first time the pain and shame she endured after a trusted authority figure molested her as a teenager.

“I relied on him for everything,” Blair says of her relationship with one of the deans of the Cranbrook boarding school she attended in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. “I really couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have such a wonderful mentor and friend. What hurt me was that he would make such a mistake. That was it.

Deployment of Selma Blair

Carter Smith

In an exclusive excerpt from naughty baby in this week’s PEOPLE, Blair details the disturbing moment the Dean crossed an unforgivable line.

Read more about Selma Blair’s new memoir naughty babylisten to our PEOPLE Every Day podcast below.

“I thought he was the greatest man I had ever met,” she wrote. “Beautiful. Tall. So generous. I’m sure you can see where all of this is taking us. But at that time, I couldn’t have predicted it. I trusted authority. I was only ‘a teen.”

It was the day before winter break in her first year, when Blair went to the dean’s office to say goodbye and where they exchanged gifts.

RELATED: Selma Blair’s stunning new memoir reveals decades of alcoholism and her first drunkenness when she was 7

Deployment of Selma Blair

Deployment of Selma Blair

“We kissed. It was too long, too quiet and too quiet,” she wrote. “His hand went to my lower back, tracing the space just above my tailbone. His lips were over my mouth. Please, I thought. Please don’t pass under my pants my approved Ralph Lauren khakis in which I had carefully tucked a checkered shirt Please You are an adult and I love you please don’t put your hand in my pants . But he did. It was a simple thing. He didn’t rape me. He didn’t threaten me. But he broke me. Nothing more happened, but I didn’t never felt safe.

She continues: “When I told my mother that he kissed me, she took a deep breath. “You don’t have to tell anyone. He is loved in this school. And you’ll just be a troubled girl. . . I’m sorry.” At the end of my senior year, he came to congratulate me on winning a writing award. Then he turned to my mother and said, “You must be so proud.” She just looked at him, stone-faced. Then, “I know what you’ve done. Stay away from my daughter.” He’s gone.”

Watch the full episode of People Cover Story: Selma Blair on PeopleTV.com or the PeopleTV app.

“I didn’t have the energy or the experience or the shame factor or the confidence to deal with all of this. And it affected me so much. I worked very hard in the book to try to [explain] What it was. It was too disarming for me. I was careful, I never wanted him to get in trouble either.”

Deployment of Selma Blair

Deployment of Selma Blair

Selma Blair Instagram

For more on Selma Blair and naughty babyget the latest issue of PEOPLE on newsstands Friday

Looking back and writing about some of these exceptionally painful memories gave Blair a deeper understanding of her own internalized trauma and one that she will always try to heal from. And while she says she doesn’t let her past negative experiences with certain men influence how she views her romantic future, it’s not a priority for her at the moment as she’s happily busy being a single mom. with son Arthur, 10 (dad is ex fashion designer Jason Bleick).

“I had wonderful relationships where there was no drama,” she says. “But I don’t even think about [future romantic relationships]. I know that with all that life can bring, I really never say “never” to certain things – I say never to alcohol – and there are a few things the dance card is unequivocally full for, but i will i never say [to a relationship]. That’s not where my energy lies at all. It’s all with Arthur now.”

She adds, “I feel a lot more secure in my life,” she says. “As long as my son is okay, and I don’t have an immediate death sentence or I’m not in immediate danger, then I could probably handle anything.”

naughty baby is available May 17.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.

Martha K. Merrill